Farewell 2012

2012 you came and went by so quickly, I will miss you terribly.  This was such an amazing year for us and never in my life have I looked back on a year and thought this was everything I wanted, except for 2012.  So much happened and so much changed that I think I became my own person this year.  I found who I was and stood on my own.  I am proud of who I became this year and I wouldn't change anything that happened.    January of 2012 was exciting because Jason and I were sealed for time and eternity.  I can't believe that I was so blessed to find him on this earth and not only him but that he is the best father to our children.  I went through the temple with my two sisters by my side and what an amazing experience that was.  I didn't think the temple was something I could ever expect to see in this life or to experience.  Yet we made it.  I remember speaking to one of the women in the temple with my sister Kimberly by my side and I started crying.  The temple worker asked why I was crying and I said because this was what I had always wanted and never thought could happen.   Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be married in the temple and there I was that little girl getting ready to make sacred covenants and to be sealed to my husband and children for eternity.  I was so honored to have Kimberly right there with me holding my hand and truly it was everything I imagined.  The sealing was just as beautiful when my other sister Carrie brought up Elliot and we all knelt together as a family knowing this was forever.  Elliot was quiet through the whole thing and having Carrie there to be his support it was everything I loved.
Jason and I both started college this year and what an experience that has become.  I love knowing that I am a stay at home mom and going to school full time while maintaining an A average.  I love knowing my husband is a full time student full time dad and full time worker maintaining an A average, he is incredible I know!  We wanted better for our children and we wanted them to know that nothing can stop you but yourself.  Education is so important whether you are young or old GO TO SCHOOL you will never regret it.  Jason discovered he wanted to become a psychologist this year, he wants to help the severely mentally ill and reading about that future excites him like no other career has.  I discovered that I want to go into holistic medicine, yes I know I am a hippie but isn't it amazing what life can do for us?  Yes I think you need a healthy balance of modern medicine and holistic medicine to get through this insane life.
April my big brother Jeff was married to Amber.  The trip down there to see him was not what I expected and I missed Jason everyday.  I loved seeing Jeff and when he saw Amber coming down the isle he was so proud and so happy.  I have never seen him that happy with any one in my life, his love for her beams from every part of him.  I cried seeing them together because it was the beginning of a new chapter-we are all married now.  We all have our own lives and our own experiences, I love Jeff so much.  He is my big brother he is who I have the most memories with growing up.  I remember jumping on the trampoline with him, swimming, being pushed off the roof into the pool(haha), I remember staying up late watching Tales from the Crypt with all the lights off in the house.  Jeff was my best friend when I was little and seeing him married preparing to start his life with such an amazing supportive woman I couldn't have been happier to see them together.
June brought birthdays and I watched as Elliot turned from a baby to a little boy.  I saw him grow and change, I saw him becoming a person as I like to say.  He developed his own sense of humor, an imagination, he peed in the potty!  June was wonderful and July brought just as many as blessings.  Jude was brought to us via c-section and although that was not what we wanted- we are both healthy which is what matters.  I can still see Jason bringing in Elliot to show him his new little brother and immediately the love that Elliot felt for Jude it still makes me cry.  Elliot wouldn't let anyone hold Jude but me because he was my baby and now Elliot was a big brother.  He still loves Jude and is just as protective.  Whenever we go any where Elliot asks where Jude is and if there are other children around Jude Elliot goes right over to make sure he is safe.  I love seeing Elliot as a big brother but also as a loving child, he is so special and so tender he makes my heart sing.
August Andy and Tori got married.  Another brother was off starting his own life with a wonderful woman who brightens his life.  The wedding was beautiful and corky just like the two of them with Star Wars mentions, lots of dancing, and lots of love.  Everyone who attended the wedding couldn't help but enjoy themselves as they danced and enjoyed one another's company.  Elliot was a big hit at the wedding pulling everyone out of their seats to dance, he sure loves to make people happy.  We danced the night away and watched as Andy and Tori shared their love with everyone there.  It was such a happy evening and I remember talking to Jason when Andy said he was going to ask a girl out at work.  We laughed and both said he would end up getting married to her--guess we were right.  Tori is so wonderful and full of life and laughter, she is a nice addition to the Simmons family.  She makes Andy overwhelmingly happy and you can tell that every time you see them together.
The rest of the year has gone by so quickly that it is hard to figure out what to mention and not.  We made wonderful friends with so many people especially our close friends the Robbins.  Cecilia and Nathan are just magical, they understand us and love us.  They laugh with us and are the best kind of people to have as friends because they just get it.  I can't really describe what they have done for Jason and I these past six months of knowing them but I do know that they hold a very special place in our hearts.  We are so blessed to have them in our lives and we know that Heavenly Father sent them to us.  I, especially, am grateful for the things that they have taught us and the immense love we feel from them.  I know I keep mentioning love but truly their love is one of a kind.  They saved us in a way and showed us a new life with new possibilities.  They gave us hope and they gave us understanding.  They are truly a gift from above, I would do anything for them.
I know that I am excited to see what 2013 has in store for us.  We are planning to list the house in May and hopefully move to Utah by the beginning of August.  I can't wait for that next adventure of our life and mostly I can't wait to see how our family grows and changes this year.  We will be on our own and living our own life, it is so exciting and we have so much to look forward to.  Jason and I prepare to start a new journey as new people.  There are certain things I want to do this year.  So here are my New Years Resolutions.
1-Do one thing I have pinned on pinterest a day(365 days of pins)
2-Read the Book of Mormon
3-Pray regularly and with a pure heart
These are things that I can do and things that I am in charge of.  The gospel is my foundation and brings me peace every day.  When I am sad I know that I should not be discouraged for God is always with me.  He brings me up, he loves me, he supports me, and he most importantly hears me.  I love this church, I love my life, I love my husband and my two boys, I love my family, and I love that I have been blessed with the beginning of a new year.

Christmas 2012

Christmas has come and gone already!  I woke up this morning ready to take everything down, Hello s Christmas is over but Jason is not ready for that type of commitment haha.  Christmas day was a ton of fun and truly you don't know the joy of Christmas until you have children.  Jason and I went in and woke up Elliot to show him that Santa had come and he was so excited.  We went out into the living room and immediately Elliot opened up the stocking pulling out toy after toy and telling us Santa had come. It was so cute!  After we opened stockings we headed to my in-laws to celebrate with them.  Elliot has been looking at his presents for weeks so he knew right away TODAY WAS THE DAY he could open them.  He couldn't wait to tear into them and he of course loved his Buzz Lightyear toy and Spiderman.  He also loved his new Batman tricycle and Jude is in love with his stuffed giraffe and toy that giggles and lights up.  After opening gifts Elliot was ready to play and it was a great afternoon and Christmas.  Around noon we came home and Elliot got to open all our presents. He really loved opening his "bebots"(transformers) and seeing his new Spiderman costume.  Both boys got spoiled from everyone and it was nice to be able to spend the day with family.  That evening we had the Missionaries over for some chicken fettuccine alfredo and to just enjoy their company.  It was so much fun both Elders played with Elliot while I finished up cooking and even helped clean up a little bit(Thanks Elder Porter!) Elder Sherman put together one of Elliot's transformers which once Elliot saw what he had done(turning it into a car) he began crying and saying, "NO BEBOT!!!" it was pretty hilarious.

BATMAN!

Buzz Lightyear!

Mom and the Boys

Dad and the Boys

Elder Porter

Elder Sherman

Lastly, the Missionaries left us with a thought that we should love Christ more than we love our children.  I have been thinking about that a lot and Jason and I discussed what it truly meant to love our Savior above. We talked about how the only way to imagine it is to imagine the person who means the most to you in the world taking your sins upon them and watching them in pain.  I told Jason that he that person for me and to imagine him in agony over the things that I had done it broke my heart.  I don't think we fully grasp the love our Savior had for us that day or for everyday.  I think of Heavenly Father watching his literal son Jesus Christ asking him that if there was another way to please let it be because for a moment Jesus was scared and he knew the agony that awaited him.  I can't imagine how our Father in Heaven must have felt watching Jesus Christ suffer that evening and he himself hurting for his son below.  I think of Elliot looking to me asking me for another way so that he wouldn't have to suffer the way Christ did and I begin to cry.  The love I feel for my Savior is truly indescribable.  He his my brother, my Savior, and my Christ.  I am so grateful this Christmas season to have children that I can look upon and "be as the little children" because they are what this season is about.  I have wonderful Primary children who bless my life and I have my beautiful sons at home who too remind me of the Lord.  I am grateful for the Missionaries who sacrifice time with their families to spread the gospel and to bless our homes with their spirits.  Lastly, I am grateful this Christmas season for our wonderful friends.  We received so many cards and goodies and especially the kindness of our friends the Robbins.  We are so blessed to have these people in our lives and Christmas reminds us at least once a year the importance of them.

Five Months Old

Jude is five months old!  Wow, he is getting so big so fast and I already miss his little snuggly baby self.  He is turning into such a fun person I love watching him every day.  Jude is a favorite baby at church it seems that everyone loves him and all my primary kids truly love having him in class with us.  He is getting quite the personality and loves attention, I think we have another extrovert in the house finally haha.  It has been so much fun with the holidays and having Jason home a lot recently there is always time for fun.  We have been truly enjoying ourselves.   This month we let Jude start eating solids and by that I mean homemade baby food, he loves carrots apple sauce and bananas.  Jude has also developed a temper it is hilarious, he will  yell at Jason if he stops playing with him or if he is wanting attention.  What a silly kid we have.

Jude at Five months-
Is crawling
Eating foods(but still mostly nursing)
Getting a funny personality
Loves to laugh and smile at everyone
Loves to bounce
Has beautiful bright blue eyes
Loves to stand
Loves baths

And loves playing with Elliot's toys

alone

no one knows how to make me feel alone quite like you do

Thanksgiving and a long weekend

Thanksgiving this year was a little different but it was a lot of fun.  Jason and I took the boys to The Davenport Hotel for their incredibly delicious buffet.  We ate for two hours and Elliot was on his best behavior it was really a beautiful time.  It was so relaxing to be eating together as a family and to just enjoy one another's company.  I loved it and Jason did too, it was just nice to have our own Simmons Family Thanksgiving.
After the Davenport we went to Riverfront Square Park and wandered around, we showed Elliot the massive river that goes through and he was so impressed.  He kept saying, "Oh wow!  Waters!" It was a beautiful day to wander in the park and the water was flowing so beautifully   I spent most of the day reading a new book I had purchased, it felt incredible to read a book again just for fun.  Not worrying about classes or finals just doing something I completely enjoyed.   I forgot what that was like, haha.  After the park we drove home.
Once back in Othello we stopped by Jason's parents house and hung out with them for a little while.  It was nice to finish off the day surrounded by some family.  We came back home and crashed.
It has been really nice to have this four day weekend with Jason.  Friday we went to Wal-Mart and wandered the store for an hour and a half and left with literally four things....how did we spend that much time there I have ZERO idea.  After that we went and had lunch with the in-laws again and went to our wonderful friends the Robbins twin boys first birthday party.  It was so much fun.  The boys are so adorable and it was funny to see the differences in them.  Each boy went about eating their cake completely different and we were so glad to be surrounded by the Robbins family and feel right at home.  It was a wonderful party and right before we left they made seven layered dip--ummmm DELICIOUS!
Today has just been long.  We woke up in the middle of the night to Ned bleeding all over the place with his ear a complete mess.  Emily bit his ear a few months ago and every time it scabs over and almost heals Ned scratches off the scab.  This time was pretty bad and he kept shaking his ear spraying blood everywhere.  It was disgusting. Jason took Ned to the vet this morning and they got him all wrapped up. We have spent the rest of the day cleaning and relaxing as a family the perfect way to end this long day.

This is Ned at the vet this morning and oddly enough the only picture we have taken all weekend haha

I just wanted to end with something.  Thanksgiving is about family and although we spent our Thanksgiving with just us and our kids it was a wonderful time. I am grateful for my two beautiful healthy happy children.  I am grateful that I am able to forgive and move on with my life.  I am grateful for my husband and the blessing that he is to me and our boys every single day.  I am grateful for the gospel and everything that it has taught me.  I am grateful for the education that Jason and I are both seeking,  Lastly, I am grateful for the people who surround my life every day and make it better with their presence and love.

Four Months and counting

Jude has made it to four months and he is changing and growing everyday.  It amazes me to see how different he looks and how much he loves to see us.  Every morning he wakes up and starts kicking and waving his arms around from pure excitement, it is so much fun.  Two kids is a lot of fun and by the end of the day I am so exhausted I can't wait to crawl into bed.  I wouldn't change any of it.

Jude at four months-
He rolls all across the floor
He knows how to manipulate us(it is pretty funny)
He loves to watch people eat
He prefers mommy over daddy
He loves to chew on anything he can get his hands on

Jude has brought so much joy to our family and the way he lights up with Elliot makes every hard day worth it.  I am so grateful for my beautiful children and the blessing that they are in my life.  What a great journey they are taking us on.

Four Months

We All Have Those Days

Today was not a good day, in fact it was long and dragged on.  This morning when I got up Jason was getting Elliot undressed because we forgot to put a diaper on him and he was covered head to toe in urine, Jude lay crying on the couch, and the dining room had muddy dog footprints and blood every where.  I knew today was not going to be a good day.  Elliot refused to take a bath so instead I put him in the tub screaming,  Jude has been fussy all day unless he is sleeping, and my great danes ear has been bleeding for at least TWO months.  Elliot screamed in the bath tub while I washed his hair and his whole body and Jude cried in the bathroom in his bouncer.  When I woke up this morning I was ready for the day, I knew what I wanted to do today and I knew that it was going to be okay.  Days do not always work out that way.

Life does not always work out that way.  I don't talk about my family a lot for a variety of different reasons.  I like to think I am a good person.  I don't try to cause drama.  When I was a teenager I lived for it, I loved the gossip and the entanglements, in fact I still love to hear about someone else's drama or someone else's gossip.  My life is complicated enough without my own family drama, I don't need it. .

Things have changed for me this past year in a lot of ways.  People I once relied upon are no longer there for me and it makes me feel alone.  I don't have a lot of people I consider friends and I don't let people close to my heart.  I often feel alone and days like today I eat my feelings.  I eat for all the tears I cried last week, I eat for feeling alone, and I eat for the knowledge that tomorrow may not be better.  Today was not a good day for me.  The kids were fussy till they went to bed, I spilled an entire glass of water typing this, and my husband has homework that will keep him up till midnight.  Tomorrow may not be better but the knowledge that everyone has days like today helps.  The knowledge that my husband loves me and my kids love me it helps.  The knowledge that I have one friend I can rely upon for anything and to talk to at any time it helps a lot.  I ate my feelings tonight.  Guess we need another bag of candy for the trick-o-treaters....

Oregon Coast Trip

We did lots of shopping but Elliot's favorite was definitely spiderman clothes

We just got back from a wonderful vacation to the Oregon Coast.  Jason's parents and his Aunt and Uncle all chipped in and rented a beautiful home on the beach.  Waking up and looking out to the ocean was spectacular and every morning was truly beautiful. We had lots of fun while we were there and ate LOTS of seafood.  I take this opportunity to eat up as much seafood as I can because Jason doesn't generally like it so I eat it at EVERY meal literally.  This year was a little more fun because Elliot was able to tell us everything and get really excited.  I think that as a parent when your kids do something and get excited about it you can't help but beam with joy.  

This was right at high tide it was so windy!

I was so excited to get this picture!

Isn't he so cute?!

Words of Wisdom.

Elliot loved riding with Jude

Tired kiddos

One of my favorites

The beautiful beach

Seals!

Elliot loved the water

Throwing sand

On the driftwood

Going through the water

 There is an awesome story that goes along with these two pictures.  Elliot and Jason were digging a hole in the sand before the water came up.  I started snapping some pictures and a sneaker wave came up behind me.  Quickly I stood up and Jason grabbed Elliot slowly backing away, if you look behind Jason you can see the shadow of the stroller.  While backing up Jason tripped over the stroller, knocking it over, falling into the ocean, letting go of Elliot and both of them got drenched!  Jason grabbed Elliot up quickly and he was covered in sand.  The two pictures of above are a before and after picture.    Poor Elliot was FREEZING!

Overall it was a wonderful trip with the people I love and I am always so glad to spend time with them

Our family :) and yes I am rocking socks with flip flops

Adams County Fair

This year I was really excited to go to the fair.  We had decided not to spend the money on going so I felt sad and then Jason's dad asked if we wanted his tickets for Saturday and I couldn't wait!  I love the fair, I love the feeling of everyone there the energy that is everywhere.  It is fun for me, it is not fun for Jason but he was a wonderful trooper.  I was mainly excited because we had a little extra money to take Elliot on a few rides :)

August(late I know)

In August my mom came  up to visit and it was so much fun.  I was so grateful to have her here and to enjoy her company, I had not truthfully seen her in five years.  It was so long that I was nervous to see her but once I did everything melted away.  We had so much fun together and although I didn't get ANY pictures with her because I have ZERO idea why I wouldn't take any sheesh but any way I got lots of pictures of the things that we did.  We went to Seattle for the weekend and enjoyed the beautiful area, we went to the zoo and also to the aquarium.  So here are a few pictures of what we did!

Elliot loved riding the carousel it was his first time!

Elliot loved seeing the penguins

Elliot and Jason at the leopard cage

I love this picture of Jason and Elliot I feel like they  so similar!

Elliot found this ape amazing

Fish!

"Fish, Juice!"

Funny hat boy

Hey there is one picture of my mom....lol

An Activity A Day

I recently decided that Elliot and I would start doing some of the things I had pinned because I got sick of being a boring mother.  So I started doing them and we have had a ton of fun learning to make things and play with them.  I am so glad that I am doing the things my little boy loves because it makes parenting a lot more fun.  It has been pretty fun so here are a few of the pictures of our fun times.

This is the painting part and Elliot loved painting the bath tub wall.  His favorite was putting it in the bath tub though so yea that was adorable :)

 We tried to make slime and it didn't turn out but elliot liked to play with the green goo too.

Lastly we did the fun milk and dye with a toothpick game and he really enjoyed swirling it all together.  It has been fun!

Three Months

Holy Smokes, okay I know I am late it has just been so crazy with everything going on in my life that I find it hard to write or maybe I am just lazy...yea lazy is more likely.  So Jude is three months old!  He is an amazing beautiful little baby and I love having him around.  Every morning he wakes up with a beautiful grin on his face and I can't wait till he is old enough to walk and talk just like Elliot.  So Jude at three months is--

Jude can roll over!  He rolls from his back to his tummy
He smiles all the time
He looks at everyone and he really knows Elliot, Mom, and Dad
He still loves to eat ALL THE TIME
He loves seeing Elliot no one makes him laugh like Elliot
He sleeps at night in 3-4 hr stretches(I know we are so lucky)

I think that sums up Jude at three months! And here is an adorable picture of him to finish it off!

Burger King on Sunday

I know I know you shouldn't go shopping on Sunday but my desperate need for a Raspberry Smoothie was undeniable.  It was the Sunday of Stake Conference and while everyone was sleeping I decided to go and grab a fly swatter at Wal-Mart and then head on over to BK and use a sweet two for one coupon I had received.  When I got to Wal-Mart I had to walk passed three bright yellow buses that were full of Hispanic men, I assume field workers but I could be wrong, and as I walked by they shouted out the windows "IHYAYAYAYAYAYAYA" it was pretty horrifying and hilarious.  At the time the only thought that came to my mind was, "wow I didn't realize they actually did that!" any way I didn't find the stupid fly swatter but at least I had my delicious smoothie to look forward too.
    Burger King's drive thru was crazy busy so I went inside in hopes that this would be a quick in and out trip for my two smoothies.  Here is where the real fun began.  I walked inside and began ordering my two smoothies this is the literal conversation.
"Hi I would like two medium raspberry smoothies"
Hand girl my debit card and coupon for buy one get one free coupon.
"Um, you want a smoothie?"
"Yes, two medium raspberry smoothies.  That is a coupon for buy one get one free"
"Ummm I don't know how to do that." The manager comes over and tells her how to use it.
"So you wanted a mango smoothie?"
"No raspberry"
"Hm well raspberry isn't an option"
"Oh, are you out of the raspberry one?"
"No"
"Can't you just push mango and make me a raspberry smoothie instead"
She laughs and calls over manager who tells her to that exact thing
I then get my receipt which says two free smoothies
So I begin standing waiting for my smoothie after the 25 minute ordeal I just had to go through with the apparent newbie at the register.  I should have known things were going bad when the lady next to me said to the manager, "okay we also ordered a fudge sundae" "oh you had a sundae" "yes a fudge sundae" "what kind?" "fudge"
after another 10 minutes of my life was wasted inside the BK waiting for my smoothies I was handed a small raspberry smoothie.  I then began waiting for my second smoothie after a few minutes I was told by the manager "the coupon was for one smoothie"
"Actually it was a buy one get one free coupon"
"Oh,  well than she has to charge you for the one"
I left after 45 minutes waiting for two medium smoothies.  Needless to say it was an awful Sunday buying day, although nothing was technically purchased haha. I spent 45 minutes in BK waiting for two medium smoothies and left with one small smoothie.

Family Time

Life has been pretty fun with a new baby around the house!  I forgot what it was like to have a small baby around the house and suddenly dividing my attention got a little more difficult.  It is funny because there are certain things no one tells you when you are expecting your second child.
Examples-
Your first child may love or not like the new baby either is equally as challenging.  Elliot LOVES his new brother, he loves to hold him, give him kisses, and make him smile and laugh.  It makes me so happy that Elliot loves Jude so much but what I don't like is the constant reminding of, "Elliot don't lift Jude.  Elliot get out of his face, yes kisses are nice but we need to let him breathe a little.  Elliot don't push on Jude's chest.  Elliot don't touch Jude while he is sleeping. Elliot let Jude nurse please." No one told me I would have to worry about the constant affection that Elliot feels he needs to give to Jude.

Dividing my attention is hard.  It is hard when I have a screaming baby and a crying two year old who both just want to be held and loved.  It is hard when I need to feed Jude but I just started playing a fun game with Elliot and the look of sadness in Elliot's eyes as I tell him I have to feed the baby now.  The hurt and disappointment aches my heart when I see how sad he is.  Often I have shed a tear at night because it hurts that I can't give them both the love they want.

Two kids are better than one.  Some people I knew laughed to each other about reality check I was going to get with two kids, the big shocker I was in for.  I was preparing for the hard times, not sleeping for 9 months(I didn't with Elliot), always in need of a nap, I was preparing for Elliot to be a nightmare all the time, and I was preparing for what I thought would be a rough journey.  I find having two kids so much easier than just one.  When I had Elliot I had massive PPD, I was alone all the time, I didn't talk to my family, I would often lay on the floor crying with Elliot because nursing hurt and I just didn't know what to do any more.  I love that Elliot is old enough now to have some alone play time and watch a cartoon while I get a few things done around the house.  I love that I have two boys who love each other and Jude just lights up when Elliot plays with him.  I find going out easier and I felt so much more prepared this time around when Jude came home.  Nursing was easier, it helped Jude latched on right away), I never feel sleep deprived, and Elliot loves to help whenever he can.

I love being a mom of two boys, I love knowing that the first time Jude smiled and laughed was because Elliot was playing with him in the bath tub.  I love seeing Elliot tell Jude, "I'm gonna get'ch you" and grab his chest to try and tickle him.  This has been a wonderful beginning to an even more magical journey of being a parent of two kids.

Jude at 8 Weeks-
He smiles all the time
He is a great nurser
He loves to be held
He loves his big brother
He is a good napper

Elliot at 2 years and 2 months-
He is beginning to speak in sentences
He is fully potty trained
He loves Backyardagins and Power Rangers
He loves to dance
He loves to play with Jude
His favorite animal is a dinosaur